


Roads Untraveled

by KristinaMarie



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Best Friends, College AU, F/M, Fluff and Smut, High School AU, Loss of Virginity, but they've got each other, classmates just want to smoosh their faces together and make them kiss already, everyone sees it but them, they're so lonely
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-04
Updated: 2018-04-07
Packaged: 2019-04-18 11:36:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14212293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KristinaMarie/pseuds/KristinaMarie
Summary: The senior graduating class of Hanna City High have a yearbook to complete, and the superlative polls are in!  Rey Johnson and Ben Solo – best friends and social outcasts alike - never thought they’d get any votes.  Least of all forthat.  While Rey and Ben blindly navigate their feelings and subsequent urges, their classmates already have them completely figured out.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Had to get this little fluffy, smutty oneshot out of my head while facing writer's block and necessary rewriting on my other fics. Tried my hand at a high school AU. Don't worry folks, they're both 18.
> 
> ETA: Decided to continue this, though I don't yet know how long it will be or where it will go... I have an idea, and I hope you'll all like it when it's done. :)
> 
> Find me on Tumblr: fiction/art blog @reylovesren and trash blog @renlovesrey

 

**Roads Untraveled**

 

・・・・・・★・・・★・・・・・・

 

_Weep not for roads untraveled._

_Weep not for sights unseen._

_May your love never end,_

_And if you need a friend,_

_There’s a seat here alongside me._

Linkin Park, _Roads Untraveled_

 

The last thing the seniors of Hanna City High wanted to do on a Friday afternoon in April was stay after class.  With graduation and subsequent freedom looming, there were deadlines to meet: exams to cram for, colleges to apply to, and a yearbook that needed finishing.  That being said, when student body president Armitage Hux called for a senior meeting, the class followed orders.

So there they all were, crammed into Mr. Skywalker’s classroom because it was _the_ place students sought refuge.  Heading in from the art wing, late as usual, Rey Johnson scrambled into the room and effectively disrupted the meeting already in motion.  She ignored Hux’s eyeroll and dodged a littering of backpacks across the floor, her destination in sight.  Ben Solo sat atop the desk in the back corner of the room, his long legs hanging over the side.  Nearest to the wall of windows, he paid more attention to the outside than he did to the president’s ramblings.

“What’d I miss?” Rey asked, knowing full well she’d get no update from Ben, whether she missed anything or not. 

Ben snorted, affirming her suspicions.  Leaning back against the cement window frame, he extended an arm and Rey happily accepted the offer.  Tucking in, she wrapped her arms around his waist and leaned into him.  Neither paid any mind to the glances coming from all corners of the room.  Rey already knew what every last one of them thought.  Ben Solo was _not_ a hugger… except for when it came to Rey Johnson, his best friend of eighteen years – or so their parents would say.  _They’d_ been childhood friends, so of course, they expected their children to follow suit.  Fortunately, the Solo and Johnson families got their wish.  Rey and Ben had been inseparable since the moment they could walk, talk, share juice boxes, and play war with red birch and blue beech branches.  Ben always “let” Rey win, and whether Rey believed that or not (she didn’t), she never had to worry.  Her friend was always there for her.

That was exactly why no one batted an eye watching Rey and Ben navigate life.  Together, in their own little world.

“If you haven’t submitted your yearbook profile, get it done today,” Hux was saying, punctuating his demand with a pointed glare in Ben’s direction.  The tic in Ben’s jaw intensified.  He had no patience for the frivolous aspects of graduating the school he hated so much.  He didn’t care about what they printed beneath his senior photo.  Like what nickname his classmates whispered behind Ben’s back because they were too cowardly to say it to the big guy’s face.  Or what his senior quote was, when he spoke more in the confines of his and Rey’s childhood tree fort than he did within the school’s walls.  He didn’t care to share his future aspirations with a population who, following graduation, would not spare Ben Solo another passing thought for the remainder of their lives.  Besides, he was General Organa’s son.  It was already clear what his future entailed.  His name had been on the Resistance’s recruitment list since birth.

Hux nodded curtly to his vice president, Phasma, who proceeded to jump from her seat like a trained seal.  She taped a paper to the whiteboard.

“Superlative results are in.  Check the list; if you’re on it, you’ll need to have your picture taken for the yearbook spread.”

“So _you’re_ the only one holding us up, then,” Rey teased, tugging at Ben’s arm to coax him off the desk.  “Go give ‘em your details so we can get outta here already.”

Ben groaned but complied.  Arms crossed, Hux waited expectantly with Phasma at his side, clipboard in hand.

“Quote,” he said shortly.  Phasma clicked her pen, poised to write.  Ben loomed over his shorter classmate, his eyes narrowed.  Hux cleared his throat.  “Alright, moving on… Nickname?”

If any progress was to be made – or at least any hope of preventing Ben from mowing down the redheaded weasel – Rey would have to step in.  “Just call him _Lady Killer,_ ” she said, chuckling as her eyes danced back and forth between them.

_“What?”_ Ben finally broke his silence.  But there was no point in arguing.  Desperate to get the job done, Phasma had already scribbled in Rey’s suggestion.

“Should I even _ask_ what your aspirations are?”

One more glare and Hux had his answer.  Ben jutted his head, beckoning Rey to follow him out of the room.  Just as they made it to the door, Phasma called after them.  “You’ll need to check the superlatives.”

“You gotta be kidding me,” Rey muttered.  The swarm of students around the paper was at least starting to thin, but Rey already knew checking it was a waste of time.  Neither Ben nor Rey were popular enough to be voted into such a ridiculous thing.  It was a popularity contest of “best whatevers” and “most likely to’s”.  Nothing less, and certainly nothing more.   Nothing that had any merit.

Thankfully, Ben stood a head taller than the rest and peered curiously over the crowd of heads. 

“Alright, we looked at it,” Rey spat over her shoulder to Hux and Phasma.  She took hold of Ben’s to lead him out the door.  Or she would have, had she been able to get him to budge.  “Come _on,_ Ben –“

But Ben was staring at the paper, and when he finally looked at her, Rey could’ve sworn the faintest blush had risen to his cheeks. 

_Oh no… those assholes voted him into a joke category, didn’t they,_ Rey thought furiously, suddenly intent on punching out the entire senior student body.  Elbowing her way through the crowd, Rey took one look at the superlatives and bit her lip.

There was the _Best Friends_ category, which went to Hux and Phasma although they bickered like squabbling geese.  Then, the _Cutest Couple_ category – won, of course, by Poe and Finn, who could rot a tooth with their sweetness.  And beneath them both was the category _Future Mr. and Mrs.,_ by which Rey and Ben’s names were listed.

The well-deserved winner of the “Future Photographer” category, Rose Tico, conveniently sidled up to them.  “You’re next!” she said with far too much enthusiasm in her voice.  And for once, Rey didn’t have to drag Ben by the hand to get him to follow her.  A vision in mind, Rose quickly posed them facing each other with Rey’s hands in Ben’s, as if they’d met at the altar.  Skipping a few steps back, Rose snapped the photo and shooed them off so Poe and Finn could take their place.

It was a quiet walk home afterward.  Rey fiddled with her backpack, heavier than usual with the addition of her most recent art project: a jet she’d made in ceramics class, painted in Resistance regalia.  A gift she’d made for Ben to lighten his mood on the inevitable.  Ben never bothered with a backpack – it was easier that way, since he tended to carry Rey’s for her.  But this time as he reached for her straps, Rey startled away.

“Oh, yeah…” Rey gave in, handing him her pack.  Ben slung it over his shoulder, his eyebrow quirked in her direction.

“Did it bother you?”

Rey’s cheeks warmed, her blush reaching all the way down the V of her shirt.  She should have shot the question back at him – she’d seen the stricken look on his face; how he’d frozen in place while reading the superlative.  He was embarrassed.  Maybe even appalled.  Obviously, he’d never looked at the girl he’d known since diapers _that way_.

Rey couldn’t say the same for herself.

Abandoning the question, Ben had a new one.  “ _Lady_ killer?” he asked with a laugh.  Rey was grateful for it.  The stony exterior he maintained inside the school chipped away as soon as they escaped its walls.  Rey expected as much.  Ben hadn’t always been the big, burly guy he was now.  As a freshman, he’d been nothing but a tangle of long limbs.  Too tall to beat up, but too much of a loner to join the popular crowd.  His relations helped him get through school without too much strife.  A Resistance General mother and famed pilot father, not to mention the Hanna City High instructor uncle, guaranteed as much.  It was his own choice to avoid the social scene, preferring Rey’s sole presence to anyone else’s.

Rey, on the other hand, was dealt a much different hand.  Her nickname was deservedly earned.  _Scavenger._ She turned junk – whether picked from garbage cans or from nature trails – into self-proclaimed treasure.  Her art instructors praised her creativity and ingenuity.  Her classmates were at least kind enough to call her something other than _garbage lady._ But Rey was happy with herself.  Her best friend thought the world of her. 

“You don’t see it, do you?”  Rey sighed in exasperation at Ben’s blank stare.  “Ever since your little… _transformation_ here,” she gestured with a fling of her hand to Ben’s physique, knowing full well that a set of pecs and abs hid beneath his t-shirt, “girls can’t keep their eyes off you.  You’re telling me you’ve _never_ heard their gossip?”

Ben shifted the strap of Rey’s backpack, nervously hefting it higher.  “What’s there to hear?”

It was clear in Ben’s tone that he didn’t _really_ care to know, but Rey was going to tell him anyway.  “There’s a pact amongst the cheerleaders, for one.  They have bets over who’s going to ‘conquer’ you by graduation.  Something about ‘climbing you like a tree’.”

Ben squeezed the bridge of his nose, ignoring Rey’s reenactment.

“ _Then_ there’s the art club girls.  One chiseled you out of marble.”  Ben squirmed, but Rey was unrelenting.  “And _then –”_

“Rey, stop.”

Ben jogged ahead as they reached his house’s front porch.  The key fumbled in his too-large hands.  By the time Rey caught up, she sighed inwardly.  Ben wouldn’t look at her, now, and would continue to avoid her gaze as they entered the empty house and climbed the stairs to his room.  Rey never understood why they bothered to confine themselves there – with Ben’s parents constantly gone, they had the run of the house.  But if she knew Ben, and she _did,_ Rey knew it was just another way for him to bottle himself up.  His room was the only place without constant reminders of his parents and the fact they were always too busy to come home… to be with their son. 

Rey knew she’d struck a nerve when Ben dropped her backpack unceremoniously inside the door and then refused to do the usual...  Which was plop down on his bed and wait for Rey to pull out his homework and essentially do it for him.  It wasn’t that Ben couldn’t.  He just refused, muttering that “he didn’t need good grades where he was going.”  Rey simply did for sake of ensuring Ben’s diploma.

Ben remained standing, his back to her and his hands fisted at his sides.  He only broke stature to pull his t-shirt off with such aggravation, Rey was surprised it didn’t rip.  Another ritual – changing out of his school clothes and into the grungy shirt reserved for his after-school job at the mechanic’s down the street.  Rey used to bury her nose into her textbook as he did this.  Not so much anymore.

Rey sighed in defeat.  “Look –“

“Why would you say those things?” Ben demanded, turning on his heel to face her.  His grungy shirt forgotten on his bed as though he couldn’t interrupt his resolve to put it on, lest he lose it. 

Rey blinked.  “What?  About the nickname?  The girls?”

The scowl on his face answered her.  “Don’t tell me you’re turning into one of them.  Getting a rise out of mocking me.”

Throwing her head back in understanding, Rey had to stifle her laugh to keep from inciting more of Ben’s anger-slash-embarrassment.  “You think I’m _teasing_ you?  That I’m making it up to embarrass you?”

Ben nabbed his shirt off his bed, wringing it in his hands; embarrassment, achieved.

“I’m not making it up, Ben.”

Ben snorted sarcastically.  “Then how come I’ve never had any luck?”

Rey crossed her arms over her chest, suddenly annoyed, herself, that she had to explain.  The last thing she wanted to do was convince Ben to prove her point true.  “Maybe because you don’t _see_ it.  Maybe because it’s always _me,_ your eccentric best friend, who you’re taking out of pity to homecoming, snowcoming, _prom_.”  Rey gestured with her hands in a ‘need-I-say-more?’ fashion.

This road had yet to be traveled between them.  A facing of reality.  A confession of sorts.  And as much as the jealousy twisted hideously in Rey’s stomach, it all had to be laid out… especially since nothing _else_ would be said in its place.  Something Rey had hoped Ben would say for years, now, but never did.

Though Ben’s eyes had focused intently on his shirt, they drifted slowly up to meet Rey’s.  “It wasn’t pity, Rey.  You know that.”

“Well,” Rey picked up her backpack and, crossing the room, slumped onto his bed.  She searched for a different answer Ben would accept.  “It’s your own fault.  It’s not like you bothered to ask anyone else, anyway.”

“I never wanted to.”

Rey ducked her head to hide her smile.  A smile that valiantly fought against the threat of tears.  Unzipping her bag, she pulled out the ceramic jet and inspected it, noting the chip in its wing from when Ben had dropped the bag on the floor.  Out of her peripheral vision, she watched as Ben sat beside her, his shoulders hunched in apology.

“I’m sorry, Rey,” he said.  For the jet.  For the argument.  For the elephant in the room in the form of a ceramic sculpture.  Rey set the ceramic jet on Ben’s nightstand with quivering hands.

“I never wanted to be alone, and you… you always made sure I wasn’t.  You didn’t let me go stag to those dances, even though you never wanted to go to them.  You walk me home every day so I don’t walk by myself.  And when my parents are gone, you let me stay here so I’m not alone in my empty house.”    

“You’re just trading one empty house for another,” Ben teased softly.  Rey laughed through the tears that finally managed to break free.

“And now, you’re enlisting and I’m…” she sighed heavily.  “I’m going to Junari Art Academy.  We’ll be across the continent from each other.  For the first time in eighteen years, we’ll be...”

Rey trailed off, not wanting to admit the truth.  Another road untraveled – a future unknown – but for the first time, she’d travel it alone.

Forgetting the mascara that had undoubtedly smeared with her crocodile tears, Rey managed to meet Ben’s eyes.  They burned anxiously as he looked at her.  The smallest smile hinted on his lips.  Before Rey could chastise him for finding humor in her misery, he reached across her to his nightstand to retrieve an envelope.  He pressed it into her hands; told her to look at it.

Casting him a quizzical glance, Rey pulled the letter from its already torn envelope.

“Congratulations, Mr. Solo.  You’ve been accepted…” she read to herself quietly.  “To the Junari Point Flight Academy.”

Ben’s arm snaked around Rey’s waist as she read.  “See.  You’re not alone.”

The tears were flowing for a different reason, now.  Rey’s heart ached with happiness.  But it wasn’t for herself.  No… it was for her dearest friend.  It was for the fact he chose his own path, regardless of what his mother wanted.  It was for him following his _true_ dream in becoming a pilot like his father.  That he had found a way out of the empty house that had been his prison since he was old enough to be left alone in it.  And it was for being together, with the only person either of them could ever rely on, no matter what.

“Neither are you,” Rey whispered.  Because of his choice, Rey could make good on a promise she’d made to herself long ago.  That for all the times Ben took care of her – all the times filling the empty space that only _he_ could fill – she’d never let _him_ be alone, either.

Ben’s eyes searched hers – fleetingly, because his mind was already made up.  The hand at her waist drifted up between her shoulder blades, bringing Rey closer.  The other slid to the base of her neck to lead her chin up.  And when his full, warm lips pressed chastely to hers, Rey let the letter flutter to their feet. 

They parted as quickly as it started, but Ben didn’t let go.  He held her daringly close, his breath warming her cheeks.

“I need to tell you something,” he murmured, so close that Rey could feel the words mouthed against her lips.

Rey nodded cautiously as though any sudden movements would frighten him off.  “Say it.”

“I love you, Rey.  I have for as long as I can remember.”

Rey’s breath caught in her throat.  She braced against his chest, causing him to stiffen beneath her touch.  Suddenly unsure, his eyelashes fluttered low to focus on the swell of Rey’s pink lips.

Ben swallowed roughly.  “Tell me you don’t feel the same, and I’ll stop.”

Releasing her long-held breath, Rey leaned her forehead against Ben’s.  “What took you so long?” she teased with a breathy laugh. 

The rarity that was Ben Solo’s smile widened.  Their lips clashed together, this time confident and unrestrained.  Rey’s hands trailed north to Ben’s wide shoulders and back south again, relishing in the hard planes of his chest and sharp lines of his torso.  While one of Ben’s wove through Rey’s hair at the nape of her neck, the other flattened against the mid of her back.  Coaxing her closer, Ben guided Rey’s thighs astride his.  As many times as they’d hugged, cuddled, _danced_ together in a slow sway, Rey never felt Ben so intimately.  How his body radiated heat against hers.  How soft he was in all the right places, yet hard in all the rest.  And how her hips lined so perfectly with his – a feat she couldn’t quite believe for how broad of a man he was. 

With her above him, Ben craned his head back to keep hold of Rey’s hungry lips.  Hers were the first to part, though Ben’s quickly, earnestly followed suit.  Teeth clacked against teeth and they couldn’t help but chuckle against each other’s mouths, new as they were to such things.  They were each other’s first friend, first _home_ , and now, first kiss.  Beyond that… Rey was sure her best friend would have confided in her if he’d… Well, you know.  At least, she knew _she_ would have.

And though a healthy nervousness prickled along Rey’s consciousness, it still felt right in Ben’s arms.  There was nothing to fear.  They’d figure it out together.  Just like they did with _everything_ in their little world.

As Rey’s mind raced, Ben was busy suckling at her bottom lip.  Rey lapped at his with a tentative swipe of her tongue, eliciting a small, rumbling groan from Ben.  It convinced her to try again.  To taste him.  To find his tongue with hers and see what they could do.  Their tongues fervently met, gliding together and drinking deeply.  Rey’s head spun, grounded only by the feel of Ben’s palms pressing beneath the hem of her shirt.  They smoothed upwards, his fingers kneading ever so slightly inter her skin, beneath her bra strap, and back down along her ribs.  They moved in time with Rey’s hips which at first, she hadn’t even noticed _were_ moving.  The dizzying swirl of Ben’s tongue, the softness of his lips, and the heat of his hands ignited a fire within Rey – one that demanded to consume _more_.  One that drove her hips to roll against his, seeking a friction between their jeans that might release the slowly building frustration as they kissed.

Rearing back so suddenly that their lips parted in a wet _smack_ , Rey sought Ben’s eyes.  They looked back, still smoldering, his chest heaving.  He wanted her.  _Badly._ And it was all the encouragement Rey needed.  He didn’t protest when Rey pulled her shirt over her head.  Quite the contrary.  His eyes went wide as she popped the clasp of her bra.  Finally, they were on equal ground.

Rey let him take a moment.  Let him drink her in, his wanting gaze following every line, every curve.  She closed her eyes to will away the blush rising in her cheeks.  

Ben gripped Rey’s hips and, drawing a startled squeal of laughter out of her, he lifted them both off the bed.  He held her aloft for just a moment, looking up at her with pleading eyes.  Rey nodded, and then, she was soaring through the air, Ben’s strong arms settling her back onto his bed.  The mattress creaked beneath their full weight.  Rey memorized that creak – had heard it every time she’d climbed a ladder to Ben’s window, sneaking in to commandeer his bed on too-many-to-count lonesome nights.  It was _always_ Ben’s bed she preferred.  _Always_ the feel of his fingers twined with hers – holding hands as their breathing slowed and their eyes drifted shut – that Rey needed to fall asleep.

But now, that bed was meant for more than sleeping.

Ben set back on his knees, his lips working to swallow his eagerness.  A futile gesture, since Rey could see just how eager Ben was beneath the thick of his jeans.  And for the first time since they started this dangerous dance, Rey was nervous.  She’d caught glimpses of him before, again while changing, though always covered by boxer shorts.  Even then, she’d gotten an idea of just how big he was… but that was nothing compared to seeing him now, at the ready.  The notion drove home as he worked down his fly and shifted his jeans off to join Rey’s clothes on the floor.

Sensing her apprehension, Ben nudged her knees apart and crawled between them, hovering his body over hers.  Rey loved the way the thick waves of his shoulder-length hair fell over his face; how the inky black tendrils were so deceivingly soft.  Ben caught her lips in another kiss.  Relief flooded Rey when she felt his trembling.

“I’ve never…”

“I know.”

The confession could have been reversed; they knew it was true for them both.  In it was a promise: that they’d figure it out together, that they’d do whatever the other needed; that what they were about to do was meant for each other and no one else, and that alone was enough. 

Rey nodded her approval, and Ben responded with another kiss.  Gentle.  Comforting.  Just a taste of what he planned to do.  His lips drifted from the corner of her mouth to the angle of her jaw, down to the pulsepoint rapidly fluttering in her neck.  He lingered longer beneath her collarbone, mesmerized by the small swell of Rey’s breasts.  His hands engulfed them.  He kissed a trail between them.  Experimented with a flick of his tongue that pebbled her dusty rose nipples and sent a cascade of goosebumps across her flesh.  Rey’s ribcage expanded with each shuddering breath, calling Ben’s attention there and to the dip of her navel.  He smiled against it as she giggled, his lips tickling her, so he leaned back to work at her jeans instead.  Rey raised her hips so Ben could slide them off, her panties following after.  And _then,_ Rey could truly see what she’d have to contend with, tenting Ben’s boxer shorts.  While Ben was distracted by the tawny thatch of curls between Rey’s thighs, Rey took it upon herself to level the playing ground once more.  Quivering fingers pushed Ben’s boxers down and his erection sprung free.  Ben kicked them aside and his hand found Rey’s jaw, guiding her eyes back up to his.

“I’ll be careful,” he promised her, his voice hardly above a whisper.  Rey nodded.  She knew he would.  Ben always kept his promises.

Settling back, Rey kept her eyes on Ben’s.  His hands returned to mapping her skin: memorizing every inch of her, molding her small breasts in his large hands and following the curve of her hip down to her ass.  But when one dipped between the juncture at her thighs, exploring the heat at Rey’s center, her eyes fluttered shut.  Encouraged, Ben pressed more firmly to part her already slick folds.  Rey shuddered against him, gripping at his shoulders to take hold of the reins. 

Ben took it as a sign.  He’d have to test the waters, if only to prepare her for him.  And so, his finger dipped inside, the tip of it brushing against a deep, soft barrier.  Curling in on herself, her forehead pressed into the crook of Ben’s neck, Rey’s hand reached to join his.  She guided his palm, pressing it against the bundle of nerves as his finger worked.  She squirmed against him, begging for friction, and when Ben slipped another finger inside, Rey saw stars.  His hands were so big, his fingers wide and curious; they worked so much better than her own.  Led her up the hill she so desperately climbed and coaxed her into a spiraling climax that left her clawing at Ben’s skin.

Eager to return the favor, Rey reached between them once again.  Just as her fingers closed around Ben’s length, he shuddered and grabbed for her hand. 

“I-I can’t, I won’t –“

“Just let me –“

They spoke at the same time.  Rey wanted to make him feel as good as she did, but Ben wouldn’t last if she did.  Not if they wanted more.  Nodding her understanding, Rey watched Ben’s face as she gave his cock a soft, tentative tug.  Ben’s eyes fluttered shut, his lips parting in awe.  With her free hand, Rey pulled him closer until he was bracing himself, his elbows on either side of her head.  She peppered his eyes, his jaw, his mouth with kisses as she stroked.  He was so big, her fingers barely wrapped completely around.  The head of him so soft as her palm traced over it, smearing the leaking precum back down along his shaft.

“Okay,” Rey whispered against Ben’s lips.  “It’ll be okay…”  And as Rey guided him between her legs, the tip of him nudging her folds apart, they both held their breath.  He slid inside and Rey’s mouth fell open.  As he pressed forward, Ben buried his face into her hair.  His lips moved against her ear.

“ _God,_ Rey… You’re so… _God…_ ”

Halfway in, Ben felt resistance.  Collecting Rey tightly into his arms, he whispered his “I’m sorry’s” and told her to hold on.  Pushing through, he drew a startled cry from Rey’s lips.  Her body quaked beneath him.  Her nails dragged across the flesh of his shoulder blades.  Ben’s lips found hers again, leaving hot, needy kisses that drank away the pain as he began to move in slow, measured thrusts.    Forward was the only way, now.  There was no going back.

Rey’s ragged breaths turned into crooning whines.  Her words came in soft mewls of _“oh”_ and _“yes”_ and _“Ben…”_.  Oh, how Ben loved hearing his name fall from her lips.  It made the blood in his veins rush.  Made his tempo crescendo between her legs, drawing out just to glide back in.  Again and again he filled her, marveling at how she pulsed wetly around him.  Alternating between thrusts and grinding against her clit, he couldn’t get deep enough.  Drawing his knees up just enough to angle Rey’s thighs around his waist, Ben drove in, fully seating himself inside of her cunt.  Barely fitting, so tight and full and deep, neither could tell if the shuddering that rocked the bed was hers, his, or both. 

“It’s too much,” Ben choked, worried and waiting for Rey to calm.  He pulled back to gauge her expression.  But her arms locked like a vice around his neck, holding him close.

“No,” she murmured, shaking her head and wetting her lips.  “It feels good… Ben, _you feel so good_.”  She was aching for him to move again.  And to show him she meant what she said, Rey would have to do it herself.  Her back arched and her pelvis rolled, urging Ben to continue.  And though he did, rocking his hips deliciously against hers, Rey had had a taste of control.  She pushed on Ben’s chest, forcing him backward and rolling with him until she straddled him.  Their connection nearly lost in the act, Rey sunk back down onto Ben’s cock.  Ben’s head lolled back in response. 

Leaning forward, Rey’s nipples brushed along Ben’s chest.  She kissed along the line of his collarbone, dipping her tongue into its apex.  How freeing it felt, making love to her best friend.  She wasn’t afraid to _try_ or to _do_ or to _take._ She simply _did._

Ben’s hands clutched at Rey’s hips, his fingers digging into the curve of her ass.  He lifted her and guided her back down, their pace quickening as Rey’s thighs found rhythm.  Soon she was grinding down at a feverish speed.  Pulling up on her knees until he was nearly freed from her wetness.  Driving down again and again until Ben rocketed upright, their chests slapping together.  His hands bracketed her throat and his mouth covered hers, their moans mingling in symphony.  And with a final, jerking thrust of Ben’s hips, Rey came apart.  The walls of her cunt clenched around him, siphoning Ben dry as he came. 

Breathless, neither dared to move.  They sat, every inch of their flushed skin sticking together in the sweat of their lovemaking.  Rey gripped Ben’s wrists where his hands still held against her throat.  She wondered if they’d ever catch their breath.  And perhaps they wouldn’t.  Not when they had _this_ , now, to share.  Now that they were both friends _and_ lovers.  Soulmates from the beginning.  Together until the end.

“We should get a place together in Junari Point,” Rey breathed, welcoming a tired, panting kiss from Ben.

He agreed.  “We could get a one-bedroom.”

“We should get a dog.  Or a cat.  Or a fish.”

“We should get married…”

Rey’s eyes widened, but there was no fear in Ben’s.  Only certainty in the assumption drawn from the yearbook’s superlative; from every other person in the student body who had figured it out well before Rey and Ben did.

Rey slowly nodded, bringing the widest smile she’d ever seen to Ben’s lips.  “ _We should get married_.”

・・・・・・★・・・★・・・・・・


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are absolutely amazing and so, so kind. Thanks to some amazing supporters, I’ve decided to take this from a oneshot to a multi-chapter! Just a heads up, I’ll be shifting viewpoints between Rey and Ben throughout the story. I don’t know how many chapters we’ll see, but I have a general idea of where it’s going. I offer you more fluff, plenty of angst, and an ever-progressing sexual awakening between Ben and Rey (let's explore, shall we?).
> 
> That being said - I also want to address the sex in the first chapter and all that is to come since we ARE dealing with 18 year old high school seniors here. Though I included some discussion about safe sex in this chapter, I just want to say: BE SAFE, KIDDOS. Wrap it before you tap it.
> 
> Also: Rose is all of us. 
> 
> Special thanks to my AMAZING beta, [FriendlyNeighborhoodRoomfriend](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FriendlyNeighborhoodRoomfriend/pseuds/FriendlyNeighborhoodRoomfriend)!!

 

**Roads Untraveled**

**Chapter Two**

 

・・・・・・★・・・★・・・・・・

 

The night was long and short, never-ending and ending too fast, all at the same time.  Rey and Ben were stuck inside a dream.  One so bewildering – to be tangled up in each other’s arms, naked in Ben’s bed and made new with what they’d just done – and yet, it felt so right.

It was easy to lay there, huddled together nose to nose, withstanding the occasional finger tips that wandered for sake of remembering that, yes, it was real.  The hard part was _moving_.  Letting the _world_ move again.  Leaving the spot where everything made sense and returning to the world where nothing did.  In their bubble, they didn’t have parents who left, because they didn’t have parents at all.  Who needed them?  They had each other.

That’s why when either of them moved – Ben once to check the time, and then Rey to reach for her t-shirt – they took turns reeling each other back in.  Anchoring the moment with stories of their past.

Sitting up, Rey wrung the Metallica shirt she’d worn that day in her hands.  “Remember freshman homecoming?”

Rey was already giggling at the memory while Ben groaned.  Rolling to his back, he draped an arm over his eyes as though not seeing would also equate to not _hearing_ the story.

“Come on, it was sweet!  I acted like I didn’t want to go to the first dance of our high school career – or, _ever –_ and you saw right through me.  Told me you’d take me.  Picked me up on my doorstep in a full-on suit.”

“It matched your ripped jeans and _that_ Metallica shirt perfectly,” Ben grumbled, though he continued to trace circles along Rey’s lower back and couldn’t help but laugh, himself.

“I looked better in your suit jacket anyway,” Rey teased.

“You did.” 

Worrying her bottom lip, Rey moved to pull the shirt back over her head.  It was already 8:00, the May sun only just beginning to dip beneath the horizon out Ben’s window.   In just twelve hours, a new school day would start.  They’d face a student body who seemed to have figured Ben and Rey out well before they did.  And Rey hated herself for wondering what they’d think or say.  She hated that she searched for approval in people simply because she never got it where it _should_ have come from.

“Hey…” Ben sat up, running one hand up her spine while the other stilled over hers.  She’d made it as far as pulling the neck of her shirt over her head before freezing mid-thought.  “You don’t have to –“

“I should –“

Their words jumbled together.  What she was going to say was ridiculous anyway.  _I should go._   Go where?  ‘Home,’ to her empty house?  The same one she would’ve left every other night, just to come there, to that very spot, in that very _bed,_ beside that very _person._ Her real home.

“I…” Ben sighed, raking a hand through his hair.  He was embarrassed with himself, but when his eyes met hers, Rey could see he didn’t care.  There were more important things than his pride.  “I don’t want you to go.”

Nodding, Rey breathed, “I can stay.”

Smiling and laughing a timidly singular, relieved laugh, Ben helped Rey pull the shirt from around her neck and tossed it aside.  He ran the backs of his fingers along her bicep.  Pressed a light, lingering kiss to her shoulder before burying his face in the crook of her neck.  Shivering against the softness of his lips, Rey collected him into her arms, though she had to stretch to circle the breadth of his shoulders.  She peppered his neck with kisses in return.  And just as she made it to her favorite part of Ben’s body – his ears, which he tried to tuck away beneath his wavy black hair – Ben lifted his face.  His lips caught hers for just a moment, soft and familiar.  And then again with more agency, guiding her lips apart, their heated breath mingling.  Ben pressed Rey backward against his pillow, caging her with his arms and angling his body over hers.  The length of him dwarfed her, engulfed her, anchored her.  Made her feel comfortably tethered when before, she was nothing but a drifting balloon in a gale storm. 

“Remember the first night,” Ben murmured between kisses.  He brushed Rey’s bangs from her eyes and searched them for the memory.  “After Harley died?”

Rey nodded minutely.  Ben’s German Shepherd Dog, Harley, had been a gift to him to keep him company.  She was already seven and arthritic when Ben picked her out at the shelter on his tenth birthday.  But he’d chosen her over the overzealous, yapping puppies, anyway.  Something about her made Ben want to care for her.  To give her a good life, however long it would be.  He did just that for the next five years until it was time to put Harley down.  As usual, Ben’s parents were gone.  It was up to him to take Harley to the vet.  To listen to his options and comprehend that he didn’t have any.  To make the decision at fifteen years old to knowingly kill his dog.  It was hard to see it as mercy, then.

The first night without Harley would have been the hardest.  Ben didn’t want to lay down in his bed knowing that she wouldn’t curl up beside him, hogging more than her share.  He didn’t want to fall asleep without his hand on her furry head between her too-large ears.  Ears like his. 

“You came for the first time that night,” Ben said, mouthing the column of Rey’s neck.  “You crawled into this bed, under these covers.  You laid down beside me and you held my hand.”

Rey threaded her fingers through Ben’s hair, urging him to look up from where he’d drifted below.  Pressing a kiss to Rey’s sternum, Ben obliged.

“I stayed,” Rey whispered, knowing exactly what Ben was asking.  He needed her to stay then, and he needed her to stay now.  On the crest of new beginnings, she was the only one who made him feel like the world wasn’t falling apart around him.  He did the same for her.

Ben surged up on his hands to capture Rey’s lips again in a brutal kiss.  He had no intention of holding back this time.  Rey felt it in the way he curled his hands beneath her, pulling her up into him so that she was flush to his chest; in the way he slotted his thigh between hers, grinding his need against her center.  Rey responded in kind, hooking her leg around his and rolling her hips.  It was a battle of wills then, sliding against each other for friction, for grounding.  But it was completion they wanted, and they would skip their homework and microwaveable dinners and walking home to an empty house in order to find it.  
  


・・・・・・★・・・★・・・・・・  
  


It wasn’t that he didn’t see her before.  Ben _saw_ Rey every day for what she was.  The girl who helped him build his tree fort out of wood pallets.  The girl who so badly rivaled the idea of being akin to her hippie-drifter parents, and yet made her own recycled paper and rarely bought anything new because vintage or something she could repair herself was just as good.  The girl who was better suited for the job at the mechanic’s than _Ben_ was.  The girl who was water, but somehow thicker than blood.

Ben saw Rey, but he never _looked._ Not where he should have, or where Rey might have wanted him to.  It was hard to do when Ben was hardly seen, himself.  Not in a way that mattered.

But he was seeing her now.  And he saw her in the way no one else could or ever did.  Dawn’s sunlight, streaming through the windows and catching on the sporadic red strands that mingled with the brown of her hair.  The freckles on her bare shoulders collecting in greater numbers as the years passed.  Her curves that were often hid beneath band t-shirts or art room smocks, or her skin, covered in pottery mud and ceramic dust more often than it was clean.

Ben saw her nervousness, too.  Not _then_ , while she was sleeping as she usually did, tucked on her side and her back pressed to his chest.  From the night before.  After all was said and done, in between their chatter in the quiet moments, Ben noticed the nervousness or apprehension or whatever it was settle in.  It was in the way her eyes would drift in thought.  Or the way she idly worried her bottom lip.

At first, Ben worried if he’d taken too much, permission or no.  That it had all happened too fast.  But Rey’s nervous quirks faded away whenever Ben looked at her, touched her, murmured her name against her flesh.  And her hands were always sure against his, eager to explore and learn him in ways only she could know.  No, _that_ wasn’t what made her nervous…

He’d asked her to marry him.  _He’d_ _asked too much_.  He knew as much by the way she’d repeated it after him, stunned.

Rubbing the sleep from his eyes – though he’d been awake before the sun even began to rise – Ben propped himself up on his elbow to lean over Rey.  He carded the tangled mass that was Rey’s hair behind her ear and pressed a light kiss to her temple.

“We gotta get up, Rey.”  They’d already be late to school as it was.

Refusing to open her eyes, Rey snorted and rolled onto her back.  Stubborn as she was, she snuggled deeper into Ben’s side.  Her little hands pawed at him to lay back down with her.

“We don’t have many of these days left, you know.”

“Since when did you care?” Rey mumbled, squashing her nose against his chest. 

“Since I decided it was a good idea to _not_ sabotage my graduation in lieu of our plans.”

“So, last night then?” Rey giggled, giving in and opening her eyes.  “Fine.  But if I have to go, I’m wearing your rebel shirt.”

Ben rolled his eyes as he always did when Rey commandeered his clothing.  The only reason he had more options was because he had a job, thus making Rey jealous and sticky-fingered.  “It’s three sizes too big for you.”

“It’s a dress, then.”

“You’re going to wear pants, Rey.”

“You better not have this many rules when we’re living together, Solo.”

Her argument brought a smile to Ben’s face.  At least _that_ part hadn’t scared her off.  Agreeing to her demands and vice versa, Rey and Ben rolled out of bed, made themselves as presentable as possible, and began their mile trek to Hanna City High.  
  


・・・・・・★・・・★・・・・・・

  
“You WHAT?”

Rose Tico, the only other person Rey could reliably call her friend, should have been the last person to be surprised by Rey’s news.  While the rest of their senior classmates held their tongues – until the superlatives, that is – Rose was the first, last, and only person to prod Rey onto such matters of the heart.  In her head, Rose had planned Rey and Ben’s first date by freshman year, their wedding (in which she would pull double duty as maid of honor and photographer, of course) by sophomore year, and their future kids’ names (Kylo and Kira) by junior year.  Senior year, Rose’s dreams were coming true.

“You better have used _protection_ at least –“

Gap-mouthed, Rey dropped her tray onto the cafeteria table just a tad too abruptly.  She prayed the loud clatter would gain more attention than Rose’s loose lips.  “ _Rose,”_ she hissed, scanning the lunch room to find that no one seemed to care.  As usual.  “My parents are ‘free spirits’ and ‘children of love.’  They put me on the pill the day I started my period.”

“Still,” Rose chastised, and Rey waved her hand in hopes of sparing the ‘safe sex talk.’ 

“He is my first… and my _only_ , for that matter.  And the same goes for him.”

Rose narrowed her gaze, but relented.   “Well, I’m glad it was you before it was that harpy, Kaydel.”

As Rose said it, Rey’s eyes sought out the harpy in question.  Sitting amongst her fellow cheerleaders was Kaydel Ko Connix.  Blonde, poised, and above every hopeful boy’s paygrade.  She deigned to be a cheerleader because her popular status required it, but it was beneath her.  Her family held prestige within the Resistance, just like Ben’s, albeit Kaydel capitalized on it in a way Ben never would.  But that didn’t matter to Kaydel.  She’d capitalize on Ben’s status _for_ him.

“W-What have you heard?” Rey couldn’t help but ask, though she feigned nonchalance as she picked through the mystery casserole Hanna City High liked to serve on Fridays. 

“She’s losing patience.  Graduation’s coming, and she hasn’t even made him notice her yet.”

Rey breathed a sigh of relief.  “Ben wouldn’t, anyway.  Especially not now.”

“He might when he finds out she’s joining Junari Point Flight Academy.”

Dropping her fork, Rey barely remembered to swallow her food before she spat.  “Since _when?_ ”

Rose grimaced apologetically.  “Since she received a grant from the First Order division.  They’re offering her a free ride, and I think they’ve sought Ben out, too.”

No…  That didn’t make sense.  The First Order _rivaled_ the Resistance.  They were two military branches that couldn’t be any more different; the former predisposed for war while the latter supported peace talks.  They were alike in just one way: they needed _recruits._ Instead of uniting for the betterment of Chandrila, the factions fought against one another to build themselves and their subsequent platforms up. 

And it was no secret that both factions were in search of skilled pilots.  Whoever monopolized the airways had the upper-hand.  The First Order beat the Resistance to the punch, advertising to soon-to-be high school graduates.  Promising bright futures and ample opportunities within their ranks.  Thus, Kaydel and Ben weren’t the _only_ ones considering the flight academy route.  Rey had even heard Poe and Finn pro- and con-ing its merits.  No doubt, the First Order had gained a massive boost in the pro’s column with their offerings of full-ride scholarships in exchange for enlistment post academy.

It was surprising for Kaydel to accept an offer from The Order when her bloodline was so deep-rooted in Resistance lineage... but even more unbelievable that _Ben_ would.  He wanted the Academy to escape Resistance indoctrination, not to join their rivals.

“Why would you even think that, Rose?”

Though she looked like she wished she could eat her own words, Rose glanced in the direction of the student lounge.  “I’m sorry, Rey, but… you should see for yourself.”

Staring just a moment longer at her friend – waiting desperately for Rose to say she was mistaken and didn’t mean any of it – Rey abandoned her lunch and stalked off in the direction of the lounge.  It was a haven for the upperclassmen.  The room was half the size of the gym, equipped with faded, donated couches, vending machines, and a myriad of things left behind by lazy students.  More importantly, there was a bulletin board meant for extracurricular flyers and notices.  And, as tradition and school pride would have it, declarations of acceptances for graduating seniors were posted there by the principal himself.

That’s where Rose had learned what Rey couldn’t bring herself to believe.  Even as it stared her in the eye.

“Rey…”

She should have known.  Rey had scrambled into the room like a chicken with its head cut off, her sights dead-set on the bulletin board.  She hadn’t noticed anyone else in the lounge.  No one found refuge in it during lunchtime except for the one person who claimed to “eat for fuel, not for fun.”  Ben never joined Rey and Rose in the cafeteria.  He reserved that period for running laps in the gym, showering, then spending his last few minutes in the lounge with his usual apple and sandwich.

So there he was, sitting in his preferred spot along the windowsills, half-eaten apple in hand.  And Rey couldn’t face him.  She couldn’t even decipher what it was that left her feeling angry; betrayed. 

“Did you know?”

Though she kept her back to him, Rey could sense him.  The thud of his shoes hitting the floor as he stood from the windowsill.  The _thunk_ of his apple core hitting the trash bin.  The heat of him as he closed in, not yet touching her.  He sighed, and _there_ was her answer.  Because he knew what he did; what was wrong.

“I found out the same day I was accepted to the Academy.”

Rey shook her head incredulously.  She should have been angrier for the fact he didn’t tell her _all_ of the news the night before.  She should have been appalled that he would go against his parents because, absent or no, they were still heroes for their sacrifice.  And a hint of her – though she did not readily admit it – was jealous that he and Kaydel would _surely_ be joined at the hip, if the poised and primped leech had anything to say about it.

But all Rey could feel was betrayal.  Because the _real_ reason Ben joined the Academy was suddenly clear.

“You’re getting a free ride from the First Order.  That’s what made you change your mind about enlisting with the Resistance.  It wasn’t because of _me._ ”

“ _Rey._ ”

Ben reached for her, but Rey pulled away.  Finally facing him, Rey swiped angrily at the tears clinging to her eyelashes.  She wanted to spit her agony back at him; to tell him she didn’t care.  It wasn’t true.  She cared with every fiber of her being.  And that’s exactly why she turned and left the lounge before Ben could say another word.  
  


・・・・・・★・・・★・・・・・・

 _  
How_ Miss Priss was even in Rey’s favorite art class, she didn’t care to know.  Unless you were a complete dunce, seniors had a rather open schedule that had to be filled with frivolous electives that might look good on a college application.  Rey assumed that was the case – especially since Kaydel wrinkled her nose every time she had to mix pottery mud.  It was a _pottery class_ , for crying out loud.  What had she expected?

Rey could have done without seeing the newly-deemed bane of her existence for the rest of the day.  Particularly after the student lounge situation.  She would have preferred to sit in silence as Rose yammered on about the yearbook just barely making the deadline by graduation.  She’d love nothing more than to simply hack away with her modeling tools at her clay sculpture that was _going_ to be a German Shepherd, but was now reconfigured as an ass (er, donkey).  But as Rey’s luck seemed to go that day, Kaydel didn’t just waltz into the classroom.  She also shooed Rose out of her usual seat.  Rose earned a well-deserved glare from Rey when she obliged, opting to sketch the ceramic vase models for her next project on the other side of the room.

Resting her chin on her palm, Kaydel gave Rey a full once-over.  “So.  You and Ben Solo,” she said with a short, breathy laugh.  “’Future Mr. and Mrs.,’ huh?”

Shrugging, Rey kept her eyes on her scuplture, lest she betray the blush heating her cheeks.  “So they voted.”

“I didn’t vote that way,” Kaydel said with a snort.  She was brushing the dried clay from her elbows, cursing her mistake of leaning them on the dirty squared high-table.  “I see it going a different way.”

“Oh you do?” Rey finally met the blonde’s gaze, fire in her eyes.  “You don’t mean _you_ and the guy you didn’t look twice at during our first two years of high school?”

Kaydel rolled her eyes.  “Look.  All I’m saying is, if you don’t want him, step aside.”

Rey didn’t bother holding back the singular, sarcastic laugh that elicited a narrowed glare from Kaydel.  “And you’re so sure that _he’d_ want you, whether I was in the way or not?”

“Why wouldn’t he?” Kaydel purred, standing and putting hands to curvaceous hips as if to prove her point. 

“Graduation’s almost here.  Your vendetta’s got an expiration.”

“That’s fine.  We’ll have plenty of time to get to know each other at the Academy.

Rey saw red.  Climbing to her feet and stepping toe to toe with Kaydel, Rey relished the fact that she was a solid head taller than the prima donna.  “You’ll be in opposite factions, Kaydel.   On opposite sides.  You _do_ realize that even if he doesn’t enlist, his loyalty to the Resistance is strong.”  It was Rey’s turn to look Kaydel up and down.  “Stronger than _yours_ , at least.”

Rey had no way of knowing if what she said was true.  For the first time, she felt blinded when it came to Ben.  But it felt good putting Kaydel in her place… even if she couldn’t be sure whether her relationship with Ben survived the day.

“We’ll see,” Kaydel hissed, turning on her heel and storming back to her assigned seat.  On cue, Rose scampered over just as Rey sank back onto her stool.

“You’re right, you know,” Rose said, squeezing her friend’s shoulder.  “What I said before, Rey… Really, you have nothing to worry about.  You know him better than anyone – _of course_ he wouldn’t accept the grant.”

Rey pursed her lips, wishing she had as much confidence as her friend.  
  


・・・・・・★・・・★・・・・・・  
  


The only times Rey ever walked home alone were the days Ben was home sick.  Even then, it wasn’t of much consequence – she’d always walk straight to his house to microwave him a bowl of chicken noodle soup and watch endless reruns of shows he hated but never made Rey turn off, simply because she liked them.  Except for Bob Ross.  _Everyone_ liked Bob Ross.

She never _willingly_ walked home alone.  And though she knew it would plant a dagger firmly in Ben’s chest… there was a first time for everything.

Rey purposefully skipped out of last period early to do just that.  Worse, she headed straight for her own home.  Guilt gnawed at her as she passed Ben’s front porch, then continued to eat away the extra block it took to get to hers.  The mail was spilling out of the box screwed to the siding.  And, as usual, Rey had forgotten her house key on the counter inside, prompting her to climb in through the living room’s side window that had the broken lock from the _first_ time she’d forgotten her key.  That was four years ago.

An inch of dust settled on everything inside the home.  The sink, full of molding dishes Rey always _meant_ to get to.  The fridge was empty, save for a few yogurts that were already a couple weeks past their sell-by date.  Groaning, Rey swiped one.  Strawberry-banana flavor.  It would have to do.  At least until she made up with Ben and she could eat _his_ food.

Making up with Ben… it would take longer, now that she’d left him to walk on his own.  She might as well have left him entirely.  She wondered how long he would stay, waiting at her locker, outside in the school’s front courtyard, or anywhere in between there and his front porch.  She wondered if he’d try to call her cell, although she doubted it.  He hated the things, and she wasn’t even sure if her service was still turned on…

The idea prompted Rey to check.  By some stroke of luck, the dreaded _no service_ notification was not at the top of the screen.  She should probably call her mom and thank her for that…

In that moment, that was exactly what Rey wanted.  She wished so much that her mother was there.  As clueless and irresponsible as she was, the woman could at least comfort her child.  If not her… if not _Ben,_ then who?

Pressing the quick-dial for her mother’s cellphone, Rey popped the tab of her yogurt as she waited through the rings.  No surprise, the automated voicemail picked up.  She scarfed down the yogurt just in time for the _beep._

“Hey mom, it’s me,” Rey started, mortified by the nervous rattle in her voice.  What should she even say to the woman she hadn’t seen in months?  Or was it closer to a year?  “I just thought I’d call and, you know… see how things were.  I didn’t know if you uh, you were planning to come home soon, or…” Rey’s stomach squirmed.  Collapsing into the couch sent a cloud of dust into the air.  She set her elbows on her knees, rubbing the back of her neck and clenching her eyes shut to ward off the tears.  “I miss you, mom.  I’d really like it if you and dad could just come home for a bit.  Or maybe you could call me?  If that’s not too much?  I’m feeling kinda lo–“

The voicemail _beeped_ again, cutting Rey off and asking if she’d like to review her message.  Staring at the phone, willing her chest to slow it’s sudden, rapid rise and fall, Rey chucked the phone onto the couch beside her.  Wrapping her temples with her hands, Rey bit her tongue to keep from shrieking in frustration; in despair.  But there was no reason to; not really.  No one would hear her there.  No one ever did.

Drying her eyes with the back of her hands, Rey ignored the nausea rising in her stomach and picked her phone up again.  She re-dialed her mother and waited for the voicemail.  Steadied her voice.

“Hi mom.  Just wanted to let you know that graduation is coming up.  May 30th, so just about a week away.  If you want to come… Well, anyway, I’m leaving June 1st for Junari Art Academy.  Just thought you should know.”

Rey laid back against the couch, intent on calming her incessantly beating heart and rumbling stomach.  It shouldn’t be so hard.  She shouldn’t be alone.  And her stomach shouldn’t be hurting _that bad…_

Wiping the perspiration from her forehead, Rey made up her mind.  If she could just get her gut to calm down, she’d go and find Ben.  Straighten things out with the only person who she knew _would_ be there on May 30th and June 1st.  And when she flung open her front door to do just that, Rey was only halfway shocked to find that Ben must have thought the same thing.

He sat on her front porch, legs crossed at the ankles and his homework, of all things, laid out on his lap.  Rey only had a moment to snidely think of his comment that morning – the one about having a reason to care about school – before she doubled over.  Ben rocketed to his feet just in time to brace her shoulders and lead her to the flowerbeds that were more weeds than flowers.  He held her hair as she vomited and rubbed her back until her trembling stopped.  He didn’t even say a word when she used his rebel shirt to wipe her mouth.

“W-Why are you here?” Rey grumbled, reverting back to her bad mood for the fact that Ben had witnessed her hurl her guts out.  It wasn’t the first time.  And by her count, she’d seen him do it more, if they were both honest with themselves, so _there._

Ben ignored the question.  It was obvious: he wasn’t going to leave her alone, even when she wanted to be (because did she really?)  He planned to wait on her stoop until Rey decided to come home to him. 

Ben collected his things and guiding Rey back inside the house.  “Why do you look _green_?”

“Bad yogurt,” Rey muttered as she wandered the hall to her bedroom.  Flopping down on her bed, she didn’t argue as Ben pulled her shoes off, and then her jeans.  _I should have went pantsless_ , she thought to herself.  That would’ve shown him.  Or at the very least kept his eyes on her and not on that hussy, Kaydel Ko Connix.

Though she left him far less room than he needed, Ben slid into the bed beside her.  When Rey turned her face away, he crossed his arms.

“You didn’t let me talk before.”

Rey fought the prickling in her eyes.  He was right.  She didn’t let him talk in the student lounge.  She didn’t want to hear his reasoning; why it was a good, _logical_ idea to accept the wealthy First Order’s free ride when they both knew the Resistance couldn’t offer, let alone afford the same. 

“I haven’t decided yet, Rey.  That’s why I didn’t tell you.”

Rey’s head immediately flopped in the opposite direction to stare at Ben’s profile.  “You didn’t accept the grant?”  That meant he’d decided to go to the Academy regardless… It _was_ for her, after all.  At least in part.

“I have enough saved to get us a place and cover it for a few months, plus pay for my first term of tuition.  But I’ll need a job up there.  Or at least work-study.  Something to support us.  I’ll figure it out, okay?”

A blush was the only pallor to Rey’s cheeks.  She was a fool… A fool for thinking Kaydel had a chance with Ben when he’d already planned how to support himself and Rey, together.  And an even bigger fool for thinking that a First Order grant would change anything.  Ben was still the same person, taking care of Rey and being there for her.  How could she have doubted him?

“I can work too, ya know.”

“You?  Work?”

That earned Ben a swat to the arm.  He raised his hands in defeat, and Rey twined hers with his.  All was fine again… save for her still-gurgling stomach.

“I think I need to sleep this off,” Rey mumbled, her head lolling against his shoulder.

Ben brought her knuckles to his lips, kissing them before holding her hand to his chest.  “I’ll be here when you wake up.”  
  


・・・・・・★・・・★・・・・・・

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had to build some plot here, but no worries! More smut returning next chapter. It’s the weekend, so I’m thinking road trip. ;)
> 
> Also: Rose is all of us.
> 
> Find me on Tumblr! [reylovesren](http://reylovesren.tumblr.com)


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